Cest la vie !
Looks like all of us Ladies are
in the same boat.. Super worrying, pessimistic
and exhausted all the time.
No, It is not just the hormones..
Blame it on our system where women is expected to handle everything smartly,
failing which we are branded as big failures by society, own family, and
ourselves!
Let’s examine why women worry so much,
exhausted all the time, shall we? So
much work for us it never gets done.. Here’s the 'mental load' Society has put
on us, which we unknowingly carry on our shoulders all the time. This illustration
clearly explains everything:
https://www.workingmother.com/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear#page-2
Ok, that was the diagnosis. What’s
the solution? How do we lead a fuller, peaceful, fulfilling and happier life
without too much stress and quitting the job? Been there, done that.
Ladies, Time to make small
changes in life.. Get that reigns in your hands and command thy life! (Drumrolls
please!)
Take a 360 degree turn with a
vengeance. Yes, we need to fight the system inside out. How do we do it discreetly?
Here's Sheetal's 11 commandments:
1. Divide and conquer:
Realize that if you were to
die today, the word still runs smoothly and your loved ones are not going to be
impacted forever. They will most certainly get on with their normal lives as
soon as possible until you remain a distant and loving memory. No, the world
does not run on your shoulders. So, what’s the point of fretting so much and
taking responsibility for everything at home or work? Learn to delegate work.
Delegating smoothly is an art. Divide the whole work into smaller tasks and
allot few tasks to each member (at home or at office) Give this in writing. Do
not let them assume. Be clear about the tasks. Give them timeline. Ask them to
tick off once done. Even children as small as 5 years are capable of handling
simple household tasks. If things are getting too much in hands for working
ladies, sit them down and explain the situation to your spouse. Rope in their
help. Yes, you need it to keep your sanity!
2. Let go:
When you find yourself obsessing over
something, ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? If it does, sit down and write an action plan.
It doesn’t have to be the best action plan, but something concrete on paper
will take your stress away and gives you a course of action to work on. If it
doesn’t, well, what’s the point in over thinking? Let go of that and preoccupy
with something interesting to you.
3. Idle mind is Devil’s workshop:
We all need that
extra ‘oomph’ in life. Other than our job and household chores (which are wired
as boring by the brain) we need something to pump up our adrenaline. Develop
your passions. Work on that hobby you’ve been thinking of so long. Creative
Writing, Movies, Gardening, painting, stitching, whatever. Before you know, you
will start making time for this in spite of your busy schedule. So that leaves
no absolutely no time left to worry.
4. Invest in relationships:
Not just marriage and
in-laws. Build that strong bond of sisterhood with the handpicked friends who
share your vibes. Deliberately choose people who make you smile, lift your
mood, and give you positive vibes. Choose to spend more and more time with
them. Do small favors for your lovely neighbors. Slowly build a bond with
people you like. Hangout with them more often. Is your Sis in law a lovely
soul? Pick up the phone and have a nice chat with her..Is your cousin
witty? Whatsapp them often. Got crazy
friends? Plan a day out/coffee meet/reunion with them often. Spend money on
experiences with them. Not material junk.
5. Avoid toxic people:
Is that colleague frenemy-ying’
around you? Is that sis in law spewing toxic comments to your face? Is that MIL
giving you headaches over little things? Avoid them as much as possible.
Eliminate chances of interactions with them to the minimum possible. Make
yourself busy and avoid situations of conflict. Let them not dominate your
life. Do not let them define your happiness. Remember, your happiness is in
your pocket. Do not hand it over to them.
6. Give it back to the world:
Karma is real! What
goes around comes around. If you find yourself unhappy, think how much
happiness have you spread around people? How much have you given back? Is
someone smiling today because of you? Start with little things. Vow to make
someone smile each day. Try giving an occasional,
out of the blue bonus to your maid. Give a half day break for your employees
and take them to movies. Watch their delight! Tell your kids today is
no-homework day and play games with them all day long..Watch them scream! Give
pot of biryani to your favorite neighbor. Cook up some snacks for all your
colleagues. How about giving a 1000rs to that homeless beggar on the street?
Give a lovely comment to your friend on her updates. Message a friend on FB who
you normally don’t talk to and tell them how amazing/inspiring you think they are.
Randomly give your MIL a kiss. People
love random surprises. You will always be remembered for making them smile..and
trust me..all the happiness in the word will come back to you!
7. Let your Light shine:
Forgive yourself, let go
of the mistakes of the past, let go of your regrets We’re just human. Not Gods.
We are not flawless. We are not perfect. Get that guilt off your chest, make
confessions. Ask for forgiveness for what you have done. Forgive people for
what they have done to you. Be transparent to your loved ones. Live like a pure
soul.. sleep with a lighter conscience each day.
8. BE the Diva!:
Confidence matters. Walk with
a purpose. Walk with a smile(even if you’re not feeling it). Every girl needs a
red lipstick. Wear it on days of stress..It is known to instantly lift your
mood and boost your confidence. Invest in flattering outfits. Think of it like
an investment in your personality something that would make you more feminine
and sexy; desirable and fashionable. Accessorize even the simplest outfits. Go
for sharp modern cuts or finest fabrics like silk, satin or chiffon. Do not buy
cheap dresses. Accentuate your curves. Size doesn’t matter. Stand out from the usual crowd. Make heads turn. Let the men drool over you (Be decent).Let the husband notice the attention you get. Let him see men appreciating you. Every man wants to possess what other men desire. Trust me honey, your husband is NOT an exception to this!
Walk like a diva. Feel like a diva. Look like a diva.
Now see your confidence soar!
9.
Have lots of SEX! Fantasize. Try kinky stuff.
Try a new position. Maybe a change of location? Try outside your home and
comfort zone. Buy sexy lingerie. Read erotica. Watch a little porn. Be a little
shameless. Ditch the ‘good girl’ in bed.
Keep your mind preoccupied with ‘fun’ stuff to do for the weekend. Pinne
overthinking aaru cheyyum?? Tantadaaangg!
10.
Love thy self:
Get that ass moving.
Your body is your temple. Worship it. Workout like hell. Build that stamina. Get
those curves. Increase muscle strength. Take Multi vitamins daily. Cook and eat
a healthy, home cooked balanced diet.
Get a hot oil body massage once in 2 weeks at your spa/parlor along with
a vigorous oil massage for head. Ask them to do extra massage for shoulders.
Your weekly tension accumulates on your shoulders and neck and eventually
travels down giving you back pain and disc problem. Neck and shoulder massage relieves
accumulated stress. Do it once a week if you can. Get your personal collection
of music. Get a WiFi headphone. Play it in your car, while you work out, In the
kitchen, while doing chores. You get the idea! Groove while you move. Zumba is
my jam! Find yours!
11.
Divine interventions:
Pray hard. Pray long. Let
the divine light shine through you. It will soothe your senses. Express
gratitude to everyone and everything around you. Feel the Gratitude when you wake
up. Of your healthy body, the clothes on it..the food on your table.. for those
loving people around you..Count your blessings. Say Alhamdulillah/Praise the
God/Thank you Lord for every little thing in your life. Gratitude is a big
word. It fills your heart with so much contentment ad peace that there won’t be
space left for stressing out and worrying.
Live your life, you beautiful thing!
Cest la vie !
